The Audacity 🤦‍♀️😂

Y'all...

Can we just take a minute to talk about the absolute AUDACITY of some things?

Because I have questions.

And honestly...

I think I'm owed some answers.

For starters...

The audacity of my alarm clock.

Sir...

Didn't I just lay down?

I don't appreciate your attitude at 4:00 in the morning.

Matter of fact...

If you could just mind your own business tomorrow, I'd really appreciate it. ⏰🤣

And speaking of mornings...

The audacity of my body hurting because...

I slept.

Excuse me?

Sleeping was supposed to HELP.

Not leave me walking around like I spent the night wrestling alligators.

🤦‍♀️

The audacity of my dog asking to go outside...

Then standing on the porch looking at me like I'M the one who made poor life choices.

Bestie...

This was your idea.

Commit to it. 🐶😂

The audacity of the GPS saying...

"Proceed to the highlighted route."

Ma'am...

I WOULD HAVE...

If you'd told me to turn before I was already halfway past the exit.

Now don't get all judgmental with your,

"Recalculating..."

I'm doing my best. 🤣

The audacity of a recipe that says,

"Prep Time: 10 minutes."

LIES.

It took me ten minutes just to find the measuring cups.

The audacity of a fitted sheet.

That's it.

That's the sentence.

😂

The audacity of my bra by about 4:00 in the afternoon.

Ladies...

You know exactly what I'm talking about.

That thing has suddenly become a personal attack.

🤣🤣🤣

The audacity of my phone asking if I'd like to update.

No.

I'd like you to work exactly the way you did yesterday.

Thanks.

📱😂

The audacity of every streaming service asking,

"Are you still watching?"

Yes.

Mind your business.

🤣

The audacity of mosquitoes.

You have the entire outdoors.

Why are you obsessed with ME?

🦟🤦‍♀️

The audacity of someone saying,

"This meeting should only take five minutes."

You liar.

😂

The audacity of jeans that fit perfectly last week...

But suddenly act like they've never met me before.

I don't appreciate being gaslit by denim.

👖🤣

The audacity of my hair looking amazing...

The one day I have absolutely nowhere to go.

Then the minute I actually have plans...

I look like I stuck my finger in a light socket.

Every.

Single.

Time.

💁‍♀️😂

The audacity of autocorrect.

I typed exactly what I meant.

Why are YOU making us both look stupid?

📱🤣

The audacity of people walking slowly across the entire grocery aisle.

Y'all...

Pick a side.

This isn't a family reunion.

😂

The audacity of opening the refrigerator six different times...

Like somehow cheesecake is just going to magically appear.

It never does.

And honestly...

I'm starting to take it personally.

🍰🤣

The audacity of Amazon saying,

"Your package is ten stops away."

Great!

So I'll just spend the next forty-five minutes looking out the window every time a vehicle drives by.

📦😂

And finally...

The audacity of life waiting until I've finally gotten comfortable...

Blanket pulled up.

Coffee sitting beside me.

Phone charging.

TV on.

To suddenly remind me...

I forgot to switch the laundry.

Again.

🤦‍♀️🤣

Honestly...

Life has a whole lot of audacity.

But I guess that's what keeps it interesting.

Because if everything always went according to plan...

We'd have a whole lot fewer stories to laugh about.

And let's be honest...

Those stories are usually the best part anyway.

So tell me, bestie...

What's something that has the absolute AUDACITY to inconvenience you on a regular basis?

I have a feeling I'm about to laugh harder than I should... and honestly, I'm here for it. 😂💕☕