The Lies I Tell Myself on a Regular Basis

I don't know about y'all...

But I lie to myself.

Constantly.

Not big lies.

Little lies.

The kind that sound completely reasonable at the time...

Until they aren't.

For example...

I'll remember where I put that.

No.

No, I will not.

Matter of fact...

Future Jenny is going to spend the next twentyeleventy minutes wandering around the house saying,

"Now where would I have put that so I'd remember where it was?"

Turns out...

Past Jenny isn't nearly as helpful as she thinks she is.

I don't need to write it down.

That's adorable.

Yes, I do.

If it isn't written in my planner...

There's a solid chance it never existed.

I'll just rest my eyes for five minutes.

Three hours later...

"What day is it?"

DID I MISS THE SCHOOL BUS.... Oh wait... I graduated high school TWENTY-SEVEN YEARS AGO!

I can carry all these groceries in one trip.

Am I cutting the circulation off to three fingers?

Yes.

Am I balancing a carton of oatmilk under one arm while trying to keep the bread from becoming a pancake?

Also yes.

Will I make two trips?

Absolutely not.

I wasn't raised to quit.

I'll just run into Target for one thing.

I don't even know why I keep saying this.

Nobody...

And I mean nobody...

Has ever walked into Target for one thing.

You go in for toothpaste.

You leave with a sweatshirt, birdseed, two candles, a clearance throw pillow, a bag of Reese's, and somehow...

You still forgot the toothpaste.

I'll clean that tomorrow.

Tomorrow Jenny would really appreciate it if Today Jenny would stop volunteering her for stuff.

I won't laugh.

This usually happens at church.

Or during a serious meeting.

Or literally any place where laughing would be the absolute worst thing I could possibly do.

Then somebody looks at me...

And it's over.

I'll go to bed early tonight.

Next thing I know...

It's 12:37 a.m.

And I'm fully invested in a video called,

"How to Restore a 1942 Toaster."

I don't even own a toaster like that.

I don't know why I'm here.

But now I have to know if they got it working.

I don't need a jacket.

Famous last words.

I already have enough coffee mugs.

Let's not say things we can't take back.

This project will only take twenty minutes.

🤣🤣🤣

This is probably the biggest lie I tell myself.

I'll sit down to organize one drawer...

And suddenly I've reorganized the pantry.

Started a new business.

Designed a logo.

Ordered supplies.

Made coffee.

Pet the dog.

Answered three text messages.

Forgot why I opened the drawer in the first place.

And somehow it's dinner time.

How?!

I'll only have one cookie.

Let's all just stop lying to ourselves.

Nobody believes us anymore.

I'll remember that without writing it down.

Nope.

Matter of fact, I had another really funny one to put right here...

And I forgot it.

Which honestly proves my point better than anything I could've written. 🤣

The funny thing is...

We all do this.

Every single one of us.

Little harmless lies we tell ourselves because somehow we're convinced this time it'll be different.

It won't.

And honestly?

That's okay.

Life isn't about having it all together.

Sometimes it's about laughing at yourself before somebody else gets the chance.

Because if you can't laugh after spending ten minutes looking for your phone...

...while using the flashlight on it...

What are we even doing?

So tell me...

What's the biggest lie you tell yourself on a regular basis?

And don't you dare say...

"I'll answer this later."

We both know how that story ends. 🤣☕💕